girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
