i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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