she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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