I'm jealous of your bromance
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
