I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
are you so shy because you have an std?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
