I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
