Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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