i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
