My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
