He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
