I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
