hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
