girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
