My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
tell me about the fingering
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