According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
