just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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