he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
