I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
