On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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