carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
