Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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