I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
is wine microwaveable?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
