I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize