Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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