Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
