I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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