Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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