Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
