3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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