also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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