Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
