Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
