He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
