There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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