If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
