Me too!
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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