his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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