Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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