fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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