theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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