My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
