Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
