My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
