my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
