I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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