my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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