did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
