Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We were destined to go to rehab together
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Randomize
