is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
