Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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