so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
