weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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