i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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