arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
