Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize