I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Please don't give away my fajitas
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
