it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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