You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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