what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
