Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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