is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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